Good Food

I watched this TED talk tonight and really enjoyed it (see below). I love watching TED talks when I have time to watch them. It's hard to believe this one is from 2007. I agree with a lot of what Mark says here and I often think about becoming a vegetarian, vegan, or "vegan-ish"....at least cutting my meat and dairy consumption significantly. I don't know if I could ever do it because it would be very hard, but I sure think about it a lot.

For me it's more from the standpoint of health and because when I actually think about the animal I am eating it makes me upset to think about it's death. There really isn't any health benefit to consuming the amount of meat that we (Americans) do. But like Mark says, he eats meat and probably won't quit eating it, but I agree that eating significantly less meat and more plants, more real food, is what we should all be doing. I fall into the category of people that just wants to eat "good food", meaning quality whole foods. I enjoyed his short summary of how food and food production has changed over the years. It really puts it all into perspective. It's amazing how quickly things have changed with food production over the years and the shear number of animals that the US alone eats.

I saw Michael Pollan on Oprah a couple of weeks ago and I've seen him on many other shows. I like him a lot and I am thinking about reading some of his books. I really like his standpoint on food. He talks about being conscious about what we are eating and knowing where our comes from...eating more whole foods and cutting out processed food. I know eating that way is a little bit more expensive, but I think there is definitely advantages, not only for our health, but for the environment as well. Whether you "believe" in global warming or not (I don't think it's something that can be debated) it is something to think about... when you find out that your meat, fish, or even produce is coming from somewhere halfway around the world. To me that just seems like such a waste. Also, the amount of chemicals and preservatives in processed foods just scares me. What happened to real food?

If you have 20 minutes, watch this video, he makes a lot of good points.
Mark Bittman on what's wrong with what we eat Video on TED.com

If you have another 17 minutes, watch this Michael Pollan TED talk...this one is more science based regarding agriculture, but I geek out on this type of thing.
http://www.ted.com/talks/michael_pollan_gives_a_plant_s_eye_view.html

Time's Up

This week has been particularly hard. It just seems like things are crumbling around me. After all of the interviews I've had over the past couple of weeks, I am left holding out hope for only one of them. That's so upsetting. I also found out this week that my unemployment is pretty much over, or it's dropping down to $80/week because they are now basing the amount I get on my part-time work at Harrington, which is minimal. I will won't end up getting that $80 anyway since I make more than that at Harrington, they will just cancel it. Whatever, I knew this would eventually happen. I can't expect to have it forever. So, we are pretty much screwed with me only having my part-time work. It's just not enough for us to live on. If I don't get a job, any job, within 2 weeks we won't be able to pay our bills. Oh, and we did our taxes this week and we have to pay taxes this year because we took out what little I had in my 401k just to help us get by for a while last year. Awesome. We don't owe a ton, but still. What else can go wrong for us, money-wise?

I feel awful. Like this is all my fault...because it is. I am the one who can't get a job. I hate to put all of this stress on Joe too....I know it's just as hard for him and I feel like I am disappointing him all the time. It's so hard on both of us and our marriage and everything aspect of our lives. I can't even think about the fact that I am 31 years old and at this horrible place in my life. This is not what I imagined and it sickens me to think about it. I feel like a total failure. We can't even afford to take our dogs in for their annual shots and exams.

There really aren't words to explain how depressed I feel. I pretend that everything is ok on the outside, but it's not. Two years of job searching and interviewing and still...nothing. It makes me feel worthless. I know everyone says that "things will eventually get better" and I try to believe that, but I am forced to live in present just trying to figure out what to do to get through each day and each week. It's hard to focus on anything positive when we can't seem to catch a break.

So yesterday I sat at the computer all day and applied for a bunch of crappy retail jobs, part-time and full-time, anything I could find... and even Starbucks. I am desperate at this point and I have to do anything to bring in money so that we can make some attempt to pay our bills and stay afloat. I can't believe it's come to this. In the back of my mind I am hoping that a firm will email me with a job offer to save the day, just in the nick of time, but I can't count on that.

Sorry this was probably one the most boring posts to read. I wish everything was happy and fun, but it's not.

I hate cars

So, we heard about our car and the news is not good. The "main bearing" int he engine is bad and we need a new engine... $3,800 OR we need a new car. :-(  We can't decide what to do because we don't have the money to put toward the new engine OR toward a new car. The plan was that we would sell our car eventually and use that as a down-payment on a new car...well, now if we sell it we will only get a couple hundred bucks for it without a working engine. ugh. Even if we do put the new engine in, with the high miles I doubt we can sell it for more than what the engine would cost, so we take a loss either way.

We cannot decide what we want to do. To me it seems stupid to put $3,800 into a 9 year old car with over 167,000 miles on it. I would rather get a new (used) car and hopefully it will last much longer than a new engine would in this old car. However, the thought of buying a car without much of a down payment sickens me because our monthly payment will be so high.

This all could not come at a worse time. It's just one thing after another for us. It's so frustrating. I just need a break. If I got a job everything would be so much easier. Right now it just feels like we are in limbo and I hate that.

For now I guess Joe is going to drive it home from the shop and let it sit on the street until we decide what to do. It still runs for now, but it could die at any minute. My biggest fear is that if we get the new engine something else will go out, like the transmission or radiator, and those things aren't cheap either. I don't want this car to be a money pit, but I have never known a car that isn't once they get this old. I hate cars! They are the worst investments EVER. We'll see what happens.

The good thing is Joe and I can both get around by train/bus if we have to since we are in the city. I mainly take the train anyway. We don't have to have a car except for getting groceries and taking the dogs places and getting to places that are hard to get to by train.

Oh...almost forgot. I have another interview tomorrow with yet another firm! Not sure what they are looking for, but I hope one of these interviews turns into something!

Happy Valentine's Day!

It's a warm (in the 40's) and melty Valentine's Day here in Chicago. We still have lots of snow on the ground, but at least it's melting! I can see grass in some spots, although it's muddy, it's grass nonetheless. However, we still have several spots with a good foot or two of snow.

Walking the dogs this morning was interesting. We had to traverse several small lakes (ok, some really big puddles) to get our walk in. Louie wades right on through them. Chloe, on the other hand, usually tries to avoid walking in them if possible, but if she has to walk through them, she goes.... really....slooow....I think to avoid splashing water on herself. She's such a girl.

We are staying home for dinner tonight. I am making homemade lasagna, with homemade sauce. Yum! I got a bottle of wine and we should be good to go.

In other, less exciting news...our stupid car is acting up again. We are taking it in today to see what the damage is and I am scared to find out. We have been putting a lot of money (that we don't have) into our car over the past year or so. It has 167,000+ miles on it, so it's had a good run, but I think it's getting to the end of it's life. Even though it's a 2002, it still runs well and had been a good car. It's just the basic maintenance stuff and things going wrong now that are making it a pain because it has so many miles on it. We will see what they say. As much as I'd love a new car, we really want to wait until I get a new job and we get back on our feet before we buy a new one. Cars always have the worst timing. Hmph.

Everyone enjoy your day!

February

We made it through the snow and then the awful arctic blast of the past couple weeks. Starting today the temp is supposed to get better and better through next week, 30's and even 40 sometime next week. It's sad that even 20 degrees feels warm at this point! I am excited for 32+ temps because I want some of this stupid snow to melt! The snow really makes parking hard because there are SO many huge piles taking up precious parking spots on the street. Walking is a nightmare because there are so many piles to navigate. It will sure be a mess when it all melts, but I don't care...Bring on the "heat wave"!

On the job front, it seems like things have been picking up more and more. I had about a week between my last bunch of interviews and then I have 2 interviews this week. Both are actually at architecture and design firms! Woo! I have one today and I had the other one on Wednesday.

The interview I had Wednesday was...pretty much my dream job. I didn't know that going in, but when they described the work that they do, the kind of business they run, the way they work, I was amazed and instantly wanted to work there. Here are a few highlights:
They do primarily corporate interiors and architecture. (Which is what I want to continue to do)
They pride themselves on not working overtime. (In this industry, that is unheard of!)
They work 8-6 Monday-Thursday and 8-Noon on Friday, year round. (Sweet!)
They have a small, close-knit team that works well together. (Good)
They want someone who is willing to learn and be involved in every part of the design process. (That's TOTALLY me!)
They want someone to stay there long term. (Sounds good to me!)
They don't have titles. (cool)
They are super nice. (yay)

During the interview I was thinking, is this too good to be true? I don't think it is. I am really trying hard not to get my hopes up, but it's hard when you feel like it's the perfect job. I just hope they liked me as much as I liked them. I never know in interviews...it's so hard to know what they are thinking. I know there are lots of people looking and they will probably find someone with more experience than me, so I have to hope that they see something in me and are willing to give me a chance. We'll see. If I don't get it, I will be very upset because it seems so ideal. They are going to call one or two people back to come in and chat with their whole team before they make a decision. I hope I get called back. Please. Please. Please!!!! 

The job I am interviewing for today is also with a A+D firm. I heard they are looking to bring someone on part-time and "on the cheap", so we'll see what that's all about. I am OK with it (as long as it's not $10/hr) because it could lead to full-time work eventually. Any way I can get my foot in the door is fine with me.

All I hope is that I get something soon or keep getting lots of interviews as things pick up. It is still pretty slow, but I have heard about more jobs in the past month then I have over the past 6 months. Let's keep this up, Chicago.