help

We just got back from our "anniversary dinner" and I am sitting here crying because I just can't do this anymore. I can pretend that I am happy, that we are happy. I can't pretend that I feel loved.
I feel that Joe and I are in two totally different places in our lives and we want two totally different things. I want to have a family and build our lives together... I want to grow and do better for us together. I want to make OUR lives better. Joe doesn't. Joe wants to do what he wants and what he thinks will make himself happy, regardless of how I feel or how it affects our lives together or how it affects our future.
I am sickened by the fact that we've waited 10 years to have children for that "right time" and now we probably will never have them because time is running out. We waited too long and we've ruined everything. It's too late to make MORE major life changes and postpone having kids longer and longer. It's too late. I am so sad and so unhappy I can't even describe it.
I want to go to counseling and Joe seems to be happy being unhappy. I am not. I can't pretend that everything is fine. I am sick of pretending. I have no one to talk to and I need someone to help us through this. This may not be the best place to write this but I don't know what else to do. I have been wanting to call a counselor for a long time but I haven't had the guts. After tonight I realized I can't wait any longer. We've tried to "fix" things ourselves and it doesn't work. We can't agree and we can't make things better if we both think the other person is wrong. I emailed the counseling center a few minutes ago for an appointment and we (or at least I) am going to seek counseling to help us through this.
This is not where I pictured us 10 years into our marriage. I refuse to be in a loveless marriage. I refuse to have a mediocre life with a mediocre relationship where there are no shared goals for a successful life together. It just doesn't make sense. I don't want to keep coasting through life like this. I can't do it anymore.
There. I don't know what else to do. I said it and it sucks.