On Saturday I drove all the way out to the western suburbs for a "teacher meeting" with the woman who coordinates all of the art classes and teachers. Let's just say it was eye opening...
I felt so out of place. I was probably the youngest one there, or at least I looked like it. I was smack dab in the middle of suburbia... in a big messy house that reeked of maple syrup, surrounded by motherly women wearing sweats and no make-up. Ahhh! I didn't know it until then, but this was my worst nightmare come true. I know this all sounds so judgemental, but really it's just observant. I am a very observant person when it comes to people and environments. I tend to take it all in really quickly...and I either love it or hate it. I definitely reacted strongly to this one....
Sometimes you don't even know how different you are from people until you are thrown into a totally different environment. I never thought I was a very city-ish person until Saturday. In that house, sitting with those women, I came to the complete realization that I really do love the city. I always knew I did, but after I left, I knew it was truly home for me. The city is the place where I feel the most comfortable, where people are more like me.
All I could think was how I could not imagine myself living in a suburb. It's just not me. Though the Chicago suburbs have nice large lots, interesting older homes with character, etc, they are lacking something major that really rubs me the wrong way. I really can't pin-point it, but its something. Maybe I haven't visited the right suburb, but I have yet to find one that makes me think, "I could live here."
I don't know why, but I started to think about the idea of having kids and moving to a suburb and it totally freaked me out in that moment. Not like that's our plan, in fact, we don't really have a plan, but we have thought about this as an option before. On my drive home, my mind raced with all of these kinds of thoughts and questions. Why did I have such a bad reaction to this? Am I not meant to have kids because I don't long for that Utopian place that is supposedly suburbia? Why did going out to this woman's house even make me think about having kids and moving to a suburb? Ugh,...I don't know. All I know is I learned that I am more content with my life as it is than I thought.
I always welcome change, in fact, I am one of the rare people that seeks out change and likes to challenge myself. But changing into suburban super Mom just doesn't seem to fit. I guess I just have to quit worrying about what is normal and just do what is right for me and for us.
So, after learning about the class I will be teaching, I must admit I am a little nervous. I'm sure it will be fine once I get into it and get more comfortable, luckily I have 2 smaller classes. I just hope the little kids like me! Tonight I will prepare the art lesson for tomorrow and hope it goes well. At least it's only 6 weeks...I might love it, or I might hate it, we'll see. One thing I know for sure, it will probably cure my baby fever for the time being. 2-6 year olds tend to have that effect on a me. :-)
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