The Worst News

It is with great sadness that I make this post.

My 14 year old brother Thomas passed away on Wednesday, September 28th. Cathy and I headed out to California on Thursday the 29th after having heard from Dad on Tuesday night that he wasn't going to make it. I am sad that we didn't get to see him and say goodbye in the hospital but everyone told us it was probably for the best. There was nothing we could have done when he was there that whole week, and after all the surgeries and the injuries in general, he was a completely different boy laying in that hospital bed. We will always remember him as the happy, easy going, cute little boy that he was. I'm sure it will take them some time to get the hospital images out of their minds. Seeing your child in such a horrible state must have been heart wrenching.

I dreaded getting to the house the day we arrived in California. Having been worried sick and crying a lot all week I just knew that seeing my Dad and Melissa and Delilah would be hard. I felt as though I was all cried out, but I knew that when I got to the house and saw them it would become real. We got there and that's exactly what happened. Words cannot describe how sad everyone was. It was unbelievable. We knew Dad was glad we were there and it was nice to be able to offer some comfort, just by being there with him. Seeing Dad and Melissa in that state was the hardest thing to watch. I couldn't believe that Tommy was gone and they were actually facing the death of thier son. I saw his shoes in his room and his things just as they were the day he left for school and all I could think was that he was going to walk through the door at any minute. It was unreal to try to actually comprehend what had happened.

We spent the days before the memorial service sitting around the house, helping with what we could help with, talking with the family, etc. Visitors would come by with food or flowers or just to see the family and everyone would get sad and cry again. It was very hard.

Cathy and I drove to where the accident happened. We saw the sign posted that read "We love you Tom" in his high school colors along with flowers and candles laid there from the candlelight vigil held the day before. We sat there and looked at the intersection in awe of how this could have happened. We just couldn't wrap our brain around how someone could completely run over a kid on a bike here. It was probably one of the quietest intersections in all of Elk Grove, even during after school hours we couldn't imagine how it would be that busy.

Joe came the day before to attend the funeral/memorial and it was good to have him there. The memorial service was very sad, but a very nice memorial for him. Tommy's Uncle Mark spoke (Melissa's Brother) as well as his Grandpa, and it was very touching and sad. Two of his former teachers spoke too, very nice words about what a unique, smart and sweet boy Tom was. They think about 300-400 people came to the service and it was nice to see all the support. At the end everyone filed through row by row, hugging and consoling Melissa, Dad and the family. It was hard to watch, but sweet to see all of the kids from his school and all of the friends there to show support.

It was very hard to leave knowing that Dad, Melissa, and Delilah's lives will never be the same. None of our lives will, but theirs will definitely be a new normal that will take so long to get used to. It has been a long couple weeks for me and I imagine it will be a long journey ahead for my Dad and his family without Tommy there. There will always be a piece missing for the rest of their lives. I can't imagine losing a child. No one should ever have to go through it. There are just no words to describe how they must feel. All I can hope for them is that as time passes it will get a little easier.

I got so much support from my friends and family and so did they. The support from the community was amazing and it was comforting to know they will be well taken care of. It is amazing what people will do and say to you during times like these. I am thankful for all of the support for me and for my family

View the Obituary in the Sacramento Bee

Sweet Tommy

Last Thursday morning as I was just getting out of bed I received a call from my Dad with very bad news. Tommy, my 14 year old half brother, had been hit by a SUV while riding his bike home from school on Wednesday afternoon. I immediately burst into tears upon hearing the news and hearing my Dad say how serious it was. He was and still is in critical condition and I have been worried sick about him ever since I received the call that day. I didn't go to work on Thursday because I was so upset and I talked on the phone with my sister pretty much all day. We didn't know what to do, we felt helpless being so far away, wanting to be there, but knowing it was probably best to wait and see what happens. Both Cathy and I are still sick with worry, waiting for the next call or text from my Dad or someone else who can give us the latest update on Tommy.

That morning I didn't talk to my Dad very long, but he told me that things were very bad. Tommy was in critical condition and in intensive care. He was put into a medically induced coma right away.  My Dad said that when he first arrived in the ER were told to prepare for the worst....but he has now lived through almost 5 days. We are all trying to think positive and pray for a miracle for him. My Dad said all that matters is that he is still here and they are hoping that he is one of those miracles.

After we heard the news Cathy and I were online searching for any info we could on the accident. We found an article about the accident from the local news channel here and an article that mentioned Tommy an his high school on a local forum here. Later that night we found that someone has created a "Get Well Tom Mutz" page on Facebook. When we found it there was only about 14 people following the page and today there are over 600. There has been a real show of support from the community in Elk Grove and beyond. So many kids and friends wrote on the page, many saying they were praying for him and hoping he gets better, and many saying what a nice boy Tommy is. So many people are offering to donate or do something for the family that a friend of the family started a page to accept donations here. It was so nice to see all of the support and how many people are praying for him to get better.

So now it is Monday, I am at work, but my mind is thinking about Tommy. It sounds like it has been a rough few days for him, my Dad and Melissa (Tommy's Mom) and everyone who is there with him. They have been through some scary moments. My Dad is staying positive and they are happy to hear good news, even if it is something very small. Cathy and I plan to go out to see them sometime soon, my Dad just wants us to wait and see and hopefully things will calm down once everything gets under control.


Delilah and Tommy

 I still can't believe this has happened to Tommy. You always hear about horrible accidents like this and it is always sad, but you never fully understand what the family is going through until you experience it yourself. Even though I am not there I can only imagine what it is like to see him in such horrible shape. The whole experience so far has made me realize even more how fragile life is. You never think something like this will happen to you our your family. In one moment your life can be changed forever. Whatever happens with Tommy, it has forever changed my Dad, Melissa and Delilah's lives. We can only hope and pray that one day Tommy will recover fully and be the happy, sweet boy he once was.

Tomato Tomato

One of my favorite things this summer was making my own caprese salads (tomato, fresh mozzarella and fresh basil). I'll miss these! Love the colors.

Cheese Heads

Joe and his brother Andy got the chance to be on the sidelines for the Saints v. Packers game in Green Bay a couple weeks ago for the NFL kickoff game. Ben went too but he got a ticket instead and sat with his Aunt and Uncle instead of being on the sidelines. Andy is a huge Packers fan, but he had to pretend to be a Saints fan for this game. :-)
Their cousin Paul works for the Saints and he is able to get people to help him run photos to the players and coaches during the games when they travel. They had a blast... they got to be in the locker room with the team - thats right, lots of huge naked football players... awkward! (....wait, why didn't I go?...) and they were on the sidelines with the team for the whole game. We DVR'd the game and we caught a few glimpses of Joe from the shoulders down, but they never showed his face except for from super far away. Oh well!
Here are a few pics that Joe took. View all the pics HERE.

In-laws in Town

I don't really feel like writing, but it's been a while since I posted so I thought I would write something...
The end of the semester at school was a whirlwind, super busy tutoring tons of students the last few weeks. Glad it is finally over. I had a nice week

This past weekend, Joe's parents came to visit and we attended our first concert at Ravinia Festival in Highland Park, IL....and it was a good one! We saw Tony Bennett! It was his 85th Birthday Celebration. Had to believe he is 85 years old the way he sings. It really is effortless for him and his voice still sounds great after all of these years. Unfortunately, we couldn't bring cameras so all I have is some grainy photos from my phone...even more reason to get an iPhone!

We had a nice time at Ravinia, Millennium Park and hanging out at various spots in Chicago with them.
The fun doesn't stop there! My Mom comes to visit us this weekend. Busy times ahead.

Here are some select photos from Joe's parents visit as well as my one and only super bright video of Tony Bennett singing one of my favorite songs. You can view all of the photos HERE as well.