Its the new year and you are supposed to feel like you can restart and be happy and all that good stuff. Not me...I just feel bummed out now because I look back at 2009 and think about how I have done almost nothing this past year to better myself or my career. Aside from the weight loss, which is good I know, I feel like I haven't accomplished anything else.
My lay off has really screwed me up career wise and I can't believe its been this long and people still are not hiring in my industry. Its still really slow out there. I have talked to a couple people in my field and they said they think it will be a while before things pick up. They said this is the worst they have seen it for our industry since 1992. Man, its hard not to feel like I got the short end of the stick here. I just get started with my new career and then, BOOM...I am laid off during one of the worst times ever for our industry. Its hard not to feel like I made the wrong decision or like I screwed up. I am getting to the point where I don't know what I am going to do next. I may have to find something else to do for work that is completely unrelated to my field, just to make money, which sucks. I think it will be even harder to find something unrelated because who will hire me knowing that I am a designer and I am going to go back to that as soon as I can?!
Its hard not to get upset about it because I feel like I have messed up so many things for us. Even though its really not my fault, I feel like it is. I want to have a family and move forward with our lives, and because of my lay off we are at a stand still. It is hard, I guess I am just not sure what to do next. I worry about things one day, and the next day I don't. I try to stay positive, but its hard to be in limbo like this. ugh. I don't know if we should stay here in Chicago or if we should move, I don't know where I want to be, I just know I want to get back to normal, whatever that is.
Plus, I have never really wanted to have a baby more than I do now and I feel like we will have to wait forever for things to be settled again so that we can. Everywhere I turn and everything I do, all I think about is having a baby. Maybe its turning 30, maybe its just been long enough, I don't know, I just know that I want to have one in the near future. But then, when I think about a baby I worry about money and about where we will live and where I will be working, and how we will afford day care, clothes, food, etc, etc...so then a whole other bag of worms gets opened when I think about a baby, so it just adds to the stress. I wish things could be back to normal and I could get a decent job so we could get back on track. I wish, I wish, I wish.... apparently that doesn't work.
Sorry for the pity party, just feeling bad lately I guess.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
Happy New Year
Happy New Year! Can't believe its already 2010!
I just got back to Chicago last night and have a raging severe cold/sinus infection right now....so I after driving all yesterday alone and sick with the dogs (who aren't much entertainment in the car) I wasn't up for much celebration last night on NYE. I fell asleep on the couch and believe I was in bed before the clock struck midnight... oh well.
2010 means one major thing.....I turn THIRTY this year! eeeeek!! Actually, my birthday is in exactly 7 days. I wanted to have a big bash to celebrate this milestone, but I figured it wouldn't work out because everyone is always pooped out from the holidays and I didn't really plan anything yet, so we'll see what happens. It will probably end up being low key, just like every other year. I hate having a birthday right after Christmas, its just SO boring!
I guess it is scary turning 30. In a way I've been thinking about it all year. Looking at where I'm at in my life, what I have accomplished and what I haven't, what I need to start doing and what I need to change. I often think about how fast the first 30 years has gone, but thinking back to when I was 5 or 6 years old seems like an eternity ago. I am looking forward to another 30 (at least)! Who knows what is in the cards for my 30's, 40's and beyond.
All I know now is that 2009 was a tough year for me and for many of us and I am HOPING that 2010 will mean bigger and better things for me and everyone else.
Here's to twenty-ten!
xoxo
I just got back to Chicago last night and have a raging severe cold/sinus infection right now....so I after driving all yesterday alone and sick with the dogs (who aren't much entertainment in the car) I wasn't up for much celebration last night on NYE. I fell asleep on the couch and believe I was in bed before the clock struck midnight... oh well.
2010 means one major thing.....I turn THIRTY this year! eeeeek!! Actually, my birthday is in exactly 7 days. I wanted to have a big bash to celebrate this milestone, but I figured it wouldn't work out because everyone is always pooped out from the holidays and I didn't really plan anything yet, so we'll see what happens. It will probably end up being low key, just like every other year. I hate having a birthday right after Christmas, its just SO boring!
I guess it is scary turning 30. In a way I've been thinking about it all year. Looking at where I'm at in my life, what I have accomplished and what I haven't, what I need to start doing and what I need to change. I often think about how fast the first 30 years has gone, but thinking back to when I was 5 or 6 years old seems like an eternity ago. I am looking forward to another 30 (at least)! Who knows what is in the cards for my 30's, 40's and beyond.
All I know now is that 2009 was a tough year for me and for many of us and I am HOPING that 2010 will mean bigger and better things for me and everyone else.
Here's to twenty-ten!
xoxo
Christmas Photos
Here are a few of the photos of Joe and I that we chose from for our Christmas card.
Photography by my friend Sarah Homes-Wigand.
Photography by my friend Sarah Homes-Wigand.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Snowed in on Christmas
So we decided to leave for Omaha a day early to beat the bad weather that was headed for the Midwestern states. We left Tuesday at 2:00pm and arrived at my sisters in Omaha around midnight. We left behind a couple inches of snow in Chicago, drove through some near freezing drizzle in Iowa and Illinois (which wasn't really that bad) and arrived in Omaha to find some rain and then ice the next day and now almost a foot of snow! Our usual Christmas day in Flandreau, South Dakota was cancelled for those of us who were driving from out of state. Our "Zimmer Christmas" is also up in the air for tomorrow due to the weather,... and if it happens will be a very small group of people! What a strange Christmas it is turning out to be!
The "Christmas blizzard of 2009" started here in Omaha on Christmas Eve during the day and is still going strong as I type this. There was only a couple inches of snow on the ground when we headed out on Christmas Eve, but the wind was so strong it was blowing the snow everywhere and pelting us in the face.... no fun...not to mention Omaha already had huge piles of snow on the ground from the last big snow storm they had a couple weeks ago.
So, we managed to get out to church on Christmas Eve with Joe's parents and Andy. Was nice to be back in the church where we were married, even though it was super crowded and standing room only at this mass. I love that church at Christmas and all the time. Its such a nice place to be. Feels like home when I'm there.
After that we went out with my mom and sister for our usual Christmas Eve ritual. We had a nice dinner at Biaggi's and then to my moms and back to Cathy's for presents and treats. It was a nice night and Cathy even managed to get my mom out of her snowy parking lot when she left for the night. There was a lot more snow at that point and my moms car was not made for deep snow at all!!
So we woke up on Christmas day with the hopes of going over to Joe's parents but we were snowed in for sure. There was at least 8-9 inches of snow on the ground and the drifts were super big all around the cars. Boo. So we are stuck at my sisters for today, hoping it will be better tomorrow and we can get out and get over there. But, we tried to make the best of it, Cathy and I played UNO and ate some snacks and a few of the cookies I made. Joe watched basketball and movies. The dogs are getting a little stir crazy because they haven't been on a walk, but they probably wouldn't enjoy a walk in the snow that's taller than them. :-)
Anyway, so this blog is being written to pass some time, as you can tell. We are a little bored, but we are hanging out. Not often we just sit around with our family, even if its just Joe and my sister and our dogs.
So I better get back to doing nothing.... Merry Christmas to all of you and hope wherever you are you aren't having as much "white Christmas" as we are.
The "Christmas blizzard of 2009" started here in Omaha on Christmas Eve during the day and is still going strong as I type this. There was only a couple inches of snow on the ground when we headed out on Christmas Eve, but the wind was so strong it was blowing the snow everywhere and pelting us in the face.... no fun...not to mention Omaha already had huge piles of snow on the ground from the last big snow storm they had a couple weeks ago.
So, we managed to get out to church on Christmas Eve with Joe's parents and Andy. Was nice to be back in the church where we were married, even though it was super crowded and standing room only at this mass. I love that church at Christmas and all the time. Its such a nice place to be. Feels like home when I'm there.
After that we went out with my mom and sister for our usual Christmas Eve ritual. We had a nice dinner at Biaggi's and then to my moms and back to Cathy's for presents and treats. It was a nice night and Cathy even managed to get my mom out of her snowy parking lot when she left for the night. There was a lot more snow at that point and my moms car was not made for deep snow at all!!
So we woke up on Christmas day with the hopes of going over to Joe's parents but we were snowed in for sure. There was at least 8-9 inches of snow on the ground and the drifts were super big all around the cars. Boo. So we are stuck at my sisters for today, hoping it will be better tomorrow and we can get out and get over there. But, we tried to make the best of it, Cathy and I played UNO and ate some snacks and a few of the cookies I made. Joe watched basketball and movies. The dogs are getting a little stir crazy because they haven't been on a walk, but they probably wouldn't enjoy a walk in the snow that's taller than them. :-)
Anyway, so this blog is being written to pass some time, as you can tell. We are a little bored, but we are hanging out. Not often we just sit around with our family, even if its just Joe and my sister and our dogs.
So I better get back to doing nothing.... Merry Christmas to all of you and hope wherever you are you aren't having as much "white Christmas" as we are.
Monday, December 14, 2009
My favorite time of year!
I am just entirely too excited for Christmas!!
Maybe I just have way too much time on my hands this year and its getting to me? I just love this time of year!! Like they say, I wish every day could be Christmas...or whatever the saying is....I just love this time of year, love buying gifts for people, shopping, wrapping, planning our visit home, listening to Christmas music, etc. I get WAY too into it!!
Today I was extra super excited because I got our present for my Dad in the mail and it turned out AWESOME! I will be sending it off to him this week and I wish we could be there to see him open it. My sister and I went in on something this year and after lots of hard work we finally got it done! Maybe its not as big of a deal as I am making it out to be, but I think its pretty COOL and I know he will love it! This is pretty good considering he is always hard to buy for! I can't say what it is, but I am super excited to give it to him. :-)
Yesterday we went downtown with my friend Sarah, who has a nice manual/professional camera (which I totally want!) and she took some nice photos of Joe and I at some cool spots in Chicago for our Christmas card. I am really happy with the way they turned out! I will post some of my faves later... but you will all have to wait and see which one we picked for the card. Thanks, Sarah!!
Anyway, off to wrap some gifts now! I'm almost done....almost!
Here is one of my favorite songs...totally reminds me of being a kid at Christmas.... ahhh, memories.... Check it out if you have time.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_U7MZkSlsOU
Maybe I just have way too much time on my hands this year and its getting to me? I just love this time of year!! Like they say, I wish every day could be Christmas...or whatever the saying is....I just love this time of year, love buying gifts for people, shopping, wrapping, planning our visit home, listening to Christmas music, etc. I get WAY too into it!!
Today I was extra super excited because I got our present for my Dad in the mail and it turned out AWESOME! I will be sending it off to him this week and I wish we could be there to see him open it. My sister and I went in on something this year and after lots of hard work we finally got it done! Maybe its not as big of a deal as I am making it out to be, but I think its pretty COOL and I know he will love it! This is pretty good considering he is always hard to buy for! I can't say what it is, but I am super excited to give it to him. :-)
Yesterday we went downtown with my friend Sarah, who has a nice manual/professional camera (which I totally want!) and she took some nice photos of Joe and I at some cool spots in Chicago for our Christmas card. I am really happy with the way they turned out! I will post some of my faves later... but you will all have to wait and see which one we picked for the card. Thanks, Sarah!!
Anyway, off to wrap some gifts now! I'm almost done....almost!
Here is one of my favorite songs...totally reminds me of being a kid at Christmas.... ahhh, memories.... Check it out if you have time.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_U7MZkSlsOU
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